Don't Trust Anything In Writting.....
Don't Trust Anything In Writting..... [entries|friends|calendar]

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I strut my stuff. [17 Feb 2010|07:01pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

I have reread a few things and I have to admit, i can see into the future!

2 Shot me down. Bang Bang.

Plain And Simple [08 Feb 2010|09:45pm]
[ mood | Shoving a Cock Into Your Mouth ]

I Am Back!

Bang Bang.

Who Is Policing the Police? [06 Apr 2007|01:54am]
[ mood | God Damn You George Orwell ]

This is something I have had on my mind for quite sometime; there seems to be an ever increasing pressence of police. There has been a "DUI" (I'll get into this a little later) checkpoint every weekend for the last month. They are never around when you need them but as soon as you break a trivial law they are there to show their authority.

Tonight on the way home from work, a lady I work with was following me, mostly to make sure she didn't encounter any mechanical problems. So as we turn left onto a four lane road, I take a the far lane, as I always do, and she followed suit. Then the lights came on. A cop pulled her over the lady and lectured her on the moving violation. She just happened to be the car in front of the officer. 2 cars ahead of me did exactly the same thing, and the cop played dumb to everyone's moving violation. Luckily my coworker only got a warning for the "violation".

This happened at 1230 am and there was no opposing traffic. Added to that I have seen cops do this hundreds of times. Granted we all do it, but what makes these cops think they are above the law. They continuely are dicking us over and for what? To annoy us? To remind us of the god awful amount of laws we need to abide by? Or is there another reason?

Im thinking there is another reason. Thursday's Cincinnati Enquierer reported that Hamilton County would be holding a "DUI" checkpoint Friday night. They went on to report that last weekend's "DUI" checkpoint netted 8 arrests for DUI. 6 arrest for driving under suspension. And, 106 citations for seatbelt violation. They stopped 771 vehicles for a soberity check point and only netter 8 person driving under the influence, that is barely 1% of the people stopped. On a Friday night in Cincinnati, I imaging they could have pulled over more drunk drivers if they would have gotten off their fat asses and patrolled rather than having a checkpoint.

This got me thinking, ifonly 1% of the drivers pulled over at a DUI checkpoint were indeed intoxicated, how can they issue citations for other violations at a soberity checkpoint? 106 drivers recieved citations for seatbelt violations. Isnt that illegal? You were stopped to check your soberity, not your god damn seatbelt..

It all comes down to money. A DUI has a max fine of $1000 or 6 months for the first offense, same with driving on a suspended liscense. So, the 14 drivers that either drove drunk or on suspension netted Hamilton County $14000. Added to that, 106 seatbelt violations, which for this rant we are going to lowball the fine at $50. Doing the math, the county made almost $25,000 for 5 hours of work. Now, please tell me where that money goes?

Its is coming down to "1984". Soon we will have cameras in our homes making sure we are'nt doing drugs, flushing cleaners down the drain, or spanking a bad child. We have cameras on the road to catch speeders and those whom run red lights. Where will it end?

Bang Bang.

Baby Dont You Sign That Paper Tonight! [26 Feb 2007|03:46am]
[ mood | Weep ]

Well, Im back on lj. It has been a dismal abscence. Myspace is truly for the prepubescent, I got finger-banged by Johnny football star, mindless, scum of america. Its hard to think I got caught up in the social comformity.

Anyways, I have a few things on my mind. I know no one reads this blog anymore so it really doesnt matter, but I need an outlet.

Somehow I grew up. I dont know how, when or why. Suddenly, life became this all consuming force that I cant control, I dont understand, and has me worried. Friends are becoming or are parents. There are issues with the law. My hangouts have become increasingly boring. I have no motivation, other than finishing school. My fear, however, is when I finish school I will be less functional as a free thinker, my mind might be warped to "The Man" thinking, which, at this time as me very aggrivated and rebellious.

With all I have gained, all I have lost over the last 10 yrs, I would give it up for one memory. Few people know this feeling, but those who do, I think it would make them cry how simple and pleasant things were back then. This memory of course is any given Friday or saturday at Jessica Tillery's grandma's house. Hidden in the back room listening to Sublime or Hendrix smoking cigarettes and drinking Mad Dog 20/20.

Life was so simple back then. $2.59 bought you a pint of janck ass booze to get you shitfaced. The light was harsh but comforting. The tunes never got old ( I still do the "shiver" move when I hear Hendrix's "All Along the Watchtower"). And the conversations were so sporadic yet simple you could pick up add you two cents and possibly through in a line that would become the motto for the gathering. A time when we discussed making love to Led Zepplin. Getting our nipples pierced by polyniesians (sp?). Getting god awful tattoos we would regret when we hit forty. When we had a plan to take over Cuba, just so we could make them capitalist and have an island for our party. Those were the days cold floors and warm booze.

Now, we are all old, we hardly stay in contact. Personal differences, lovers querrels, or misunderstandings have kept us apart. Added to that the times are changing. Big Brother has come and he wont let go of the leash.

So long sweet youth.
Hello life.


1 Shot me down. Bang Bang.

So Long Sweet Summer [16 Aug 2006|02:31am]
This summer has sucked balls, all of my doing of course.

I have offically become a MySpace whore so look me up
I dont know how often I will post on Lj again but I will try to at least check in on my friends occassionally. I leave you with my last emo, self loathing thought.

I tip toe softly,
trespassing through you life,
Though you never know,
I was was just a dream in your silence.

Bang Bang.

Its been awhile..... [22 Jun 2006|04:18am]
[ mood | Whats Next ]

Im starting to wonder....
Who is it I am trying to impress....
Is it you???
Is it the other person??
Is it myself?

Im getting tired of the same routine.
rock my world,
make me rethink the known,
give me something to feel,
give me a reason.

Soberity led to emptiness and long night,
intoxication led to emptiness and short nights.

Wheres my answer?


1 Shot me down. Bang Bang.

Words I Can Not Spell [05 May 2006|04:30am]
[ mood | Life In Transition ]

I am tired of being used.
I am tired of being optimistic.
I want more fun than a human brain can handle.
I want to destroy something beautiful.
I need me back.
I need death.
I need a reality strike.
The rest of you want the movies.
I want life.

Selfish little fuck am I not?

It is definatively "I" time.

Suck It.


Bang Bang.

I Dont Need This. I Dont Need You. I Need An Escape! [24 Apr 2006|04:43am]
[ mood | Hardcore Argh ]

For once I am blaming my problems on outside sources. I know they are my problems and my responsibilities, but for once I want to personify them so I have an excuse not to suck at life.


I feel a little bit better,


Bang Bang.

Can We Share This One Bullet? [21 Apr 2006|04:32am]
[ mood | Is No The Only Bad Answer? ]

Wish me luck.


Bang Bang.

Accomplishing Life's Most Pedestrian Of Achievements [12 Apr 2006|12:58am]
[ mood | Pubes ]

Well, Im still a live. Slightly bruised for a weekend of drunken silliness. Almost everything is taking shape for a great summer.
This weekend I am going to camp to chillax and drink a few too many beers.
Im going to Gatlinberg at the end of this month for a four day drunkfest with some fun pub folks and sexy friends. That should be a great time.
Other shit:
Im starting to almost tolerate the monotony of my job. The trick is to do complicated thinking while keeping my eyes off the clock. "Life is one big question when yopu are starring at the clock" - thanks Sublime. Added to the monotony my bosses seem happy with my work and compliment me on the job I do. I dont know how to feel about that. I cant stand compliments because I dont know if they are sincere and they tend to make me complacent.
I got to heard form some great people this past weekend. Its good to catch up and talk to them. I know im a douche and try to stay busy but I will make some time for those whom were kind enough to send their love.

Well Im done.

Bronson Arroyo Forever! Willy Mo Never!
Go Reds!


1 Shot me down. Bang Bang.

A Keyhole To My Beautifully Delapidated Soul [01 Apr 2006|05:34am]
[ mood | Surely Is A Dream ]

I had one of those dreams the other night. The one that compacts and exaggerates all you emotions, fears, and hopes into an orgy of self loathing and sense of urgency.

The Dream:
It starts with me starting a second job at a restaurant. All seems cool, but I am thrown into the mix with out any training and it takes me hours to complete one task before I give up.
Somehow I then go to a college setting. Upon exiting my car my would be professor ask if I did my readings and was prepared for a quiz. Of course I didnt but play it off as I did. When questioned about the subject I turn furious and ask the ass professor does anyone actually know anything for fact. We get into a huge debate in which again I give up.
Next I end up at an old house looking for something. Every room I go into is frightening, either there are ghost or grizzly scenes before me. So I decide to escape but I cant find the door. All I can find is a stairway, the way up is broken and impossible to climb, the way downward is in perfect condition.
After that episode I meet a woman. For some reason I am so attracted to her it hurts. So I make my move and we go on a date and all that bullshit and when I make my move to kiss her good night she does the childish lip flutter and tells me I have to earn the right for a kiss. Heavily turned on by that I try to steal a kiss same damn result. Now furious, I ask what do I need to do? And like every other woman, she gives no easy answer. I suppose I have to move mountains and shoot lighting bolts out of my ass.

My Analysis:
The restaurant episode was about my constant financial concern and unhappiness and boredom I feel about my current job.
The college scene, I know I need to go back but I dont want to put up with the bullshit.
The Old house, this one worries me, I think I have been running from my ghost and they are starting to catch up. Perhaps I have some bad karma catching up but I felt so afraid confronting those beings of my dream. The staircase really has me freaked it symbolized no way to climb up in life, and with the downward stairs perfect that would be the only way to go.
The girl. Well what is there to say about that. Every relationship leads the same place empty wallet, full box of condoms, and an empty bottle of aspirin.

The Plan:
Plan A: Destroy financial worries with responsibility and lots of money. Take pride in my work and come to the realization that some people dont have work and should be at least fortunate for the job. Decide if now is the best time to get back into school with too much of life taking up my time, I tried it once before and my gpa suffered horribly. Confront all things I feel are holding me back, take responsibility for my own actions and accept and conquer the consequences.
Plan B: Get the fuck out of Dodge. Will not implicate until end of the summer (I NEED A GREAT SUMMER).
Plan C: Just go get drunk.

This weekend I am going to work on plan C. Tuesday begins Plan A.
I need one last hoorah before my extreme self overhaul.


2 Shot me down. Bang Bang.

Someone Has The Right Idea [28 Mar 2006|04:04am]
[ mood | Give Me A Reason! ]

Im tired of being here.

Im looking at my options.


3 Shot me down. Bang Bang.

Still So Young And Desperate For Attention [20 Mar 2006|03:37am]
[ mood | Pout ]

I swear nothing makes me happy these days. All my coping mechanisms have failed. Either i'm going to pull my hair out or I am going to punch out a wall.

I dont think Ive been happy in quite some time, my happy face has fooled even me till now. 30 seconds of bliss make up my life thats no way to live.

I am twitchy, i am irratable, i am moody, i am everything I have never known. I feel I have no one talk to.

I am not going to continue.


4 Shot me down. Bang Bang.

Fuck Your Couch! [10 Mar 2006|04:11am]
[ mood | Stupid Boy ]

This is when I say........ ENOUGH!


1 Shot me down. Bang Bang.

Damn This Internal Conflict! [28 Feb 2006|04:06am]
[ mood | Yet The Fork Widens ]

OK I have been questioning reality for awhile.

Is it time to grow up and feel pride in exsistence.


Remain in my semi drunken stupor and never face reality?

For now I will question reality with my beer,.


3 Shot me down. Bang Bang.

I'm Happy For The Time Being [13 Feb 2006|01:52am]
[ mood | 8am Love ]

Love is a free pitcher from Steven Segal.
Love is my family.
Love is an answer on the second ring.
Love is coffee after midnight, when the moment is not right.
Love is that last cigarette.
Love is that beautiful blond smiling at your silliness.
Love is a can of gasoline and a bonfire.
Love is an uncontrollable desire to say what you want.
Love is not caring.
Love is going to sleep at 8 am.
Love is seeing the sunrise in the snow.
Love is one of those thing I might never know.

2 Shot me down. Bang Bang.

Another Day Another Headache [07 Feb 2006|04:39am]
[ mood | Shove It Up Your Ass Redcoat ]

There is always that one day when shit hits the fan, right? How come it seems like its everyday for me?
The one thing I enjoyed most about being in Michigan was the fact I got only one call, one call, and that was a friend wanting to know (and forgot i was in Michigan)if i was going to the pub. That was nice. I need another vacation and when i take it I AM NOT TAKING MY CELLPHONE! I am so tired of dealing with everything. I dont know if I am being too nice or just too concerned about everyone. I need to be self absorbed for one day. One day where I can honestly say,"I dont suck at life!"I almost felt that way this weekend. I was away, I didnt have to face reality, I could say what I wanted to say and not fell retribution for my words or actions. It was good times with good people.

I am so irate lately. I feel i am pissing everyone off with each passing moment. Well yoo know what? I DONT CARE. Just about everyone bores the hell out of me. Iam still a kid i dont want to deal with these responsibilities anymore. I want to live and not just go through the fucking motions. I feel Ive been doing that too long, worried about whose toes I might step on, Im tired of it.

Another fork in the road,
so many ways I can go,
But I will stay here alone,
One day a path will close,


2 Shot me down. Bang Bang.

Keep Ohio Clean! Dump Your Trash In Michigan! [04 Feb 2006|01:11pm]
[ mood | Ron's Wife Giggity Giggity Goo ]

Well im going to Michigan for the weekend to see my, i mean ron's wife.

Go Seahawks!
Kill those tea sucking, transplanted, limey, redocat Pitsburgh Bastards!


2 Shot me down. Bang Bang.

Yay! Welcome Back, Mental Breakdown! [02 Feb 2006|03:14am]

Where should i be?
Should I be here?
Should I be with her?
Or in the ground?
Moments turned into a lifetime,
Moments make a lifetime,
Now our moment has past,
Did my lifetime pass?

There is something wrong with me, i'm writing. It may not make sense to anyone else but me but argh life has become so listless.

I need a good debater, someone whom is going to excite my intellect, someone whom will do that sappy shit to make me feel alive. Did I forsake it? Is it in the present, Or the future?
And on top of that.......

Im done,


1 Shot me down. Bang Bang.

What the Fuck? [22 Jan 2006|08:48am]
[ mood | Try To Pull Me From My Cloud ]

What is wrong with me?
What is this feeling?
Lack of sleep?
Whatever it is,
I hope it never ends.

Dont you hate it when someone can see through the smoke screen and make you confess your secrets? I do. But, today it might be time.


1 Shot me down. Bang Bang.

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